In Due Season

We are in a sweet, sweet season with the kids right now.  One of the twins made straight A’s for 5^th six weeks and the other made A-B honor roll for the entire first semester.  All 3 kids have jobs.  All 3 have their licenses. 2 of them have purchased their own cars.  2 of them are in the process of talking to college coaches and hoping to attend college in the fall.  They are coming to the place where they treasure the opportunity for all 5 of us to gather around the dinner table and they value family time.  Both girls are coming to me and Matt with stories and wanting us to be a part of their lives.  They are independently setting their own technology boundaries.  I thought I was going to write a whole blog post about how good they are doing right now, but this blog isn’t supposed to be a highlight reel.  

I didn’t write a blog post about all of the hard days that led up to this.  I didn’t write about the drama and tears shed, and the “I don’t wanna live heres”.  I didn’t write about the poor decisions, bad habits, and money scams.  I didn’t write about missed classes and weak alibis.  I didn’t write about the damages to my oh-so-treasured SUV. I didn’t write about the phone calls from school administrators and intervention counselors.  I didn’t write about the additional stress on my marriage because we don’t always agree about what is best for them. I didn’t write about the failed attempts and disappointments when we thought they were ready for a little more independence.

Three years with three teenagers, trust me, that is not an exhaustive list.  But you get the idea.

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

That is the verse on my bathroom mirror, and I have an affirmation statement on my dresser mirror because I wanted to give up.  Time and time again, I was ready to walk away.  I wanted to give up hope that we were making a difference.  I wanted to give up believing that this was worth ALL of the sacrifices we were making.  I wanted to give up and focus on me.  I wanted to give up trying and just let it all coast with no intentionality.  I wanted to give up praying and believing that God was working. I wanted to quit.

People who know me well would tell you I NEVER quit.  I never back down from a challenge.  But these last three years brought me there.  They brought me to the place where I could not continue forward in my own will power.  I HAD to rely on God for hope, for strength, and for even a willingness to continue in what he started.  I had to lean on God to get up from the corner, wipe away the tears, and give the teenagers a new day every day.  To forgive, to push past, to move on.

I am SO proud of our kids and where they are right now.  But this blog post is for the person who is ready to quit. 

My whole family has been investing in these kids and two of their older siblings for well over a decade.  My husband and I have been raising the three we have right now full-time for the last three years.  It has been a LONG, hard road.  We have seen many disappointments and we will see some more, but right now, we are reaping a harvest.  We didn’t magically get better at this.  We didn’t discover some well-kept secret to raising teenagers.  Our kids didn’t wake up one morning, suddenly wise and motivated.

We are in the due season.  God is fulfilling promises.  God is giving us the opportunity to see the finish in some ways. 

NONE of this has gone the way I had hoped.  God’s timing has been so incredibly different from how I would have done it. But God is sovereign. 

I do not know what your long hard road looks like, but I know anyone who is being obedient to the things God is calling them to is likely walking down one.  I do not know what challenges you are facing or what is causing you to say, “I want out,” but God does.  God sees you.  God knows your heart.

To the one who is saying I want out, hang in there.  You are doing good things.  God is using you to make a difference.  Here are a few practical tips to hopefully help you along the way…
·       Celebrate the wins. 
Even the really small wins.  When you see progress, when you see hearts change, when you see accomplishments.  Call it out, celebrate it well, tell others.   Take pictures, write it down, and go back to it.

·       Minimize the disappointments. 
There will always be things going wrong.  If you’re a storyteller like me, these things can be presented in a light-hearted laughable line-up.  But still, don’t tell the story more than you have to.  Tell it when you need to, but otherwise forget about it.  The more we talk about the disappointments the bigger they are.

·       Encourage yourself. 
Notes on your own mirror, reminders in your phone, be intentional about self-care. 

·       If you’re doing life in isolation, it is impossible for others to encourage you.
We have been the WORST about this.  We had not established our community in Texas before the kids moved in.  Encouragement from outside sources is few and far between for us.  Bring people in your life that will come alongside you and encourage you and there will be less days that you want to quit.

·       Give God opportunity to encourage you. 
Worship is a weapon.  Spend time in prayer.  God restores and renews, but if you never take the time to get still before God then you make it hard for him to do so.  There were so many times when I would come to God with a long list of concerns and frustrations, but when I would finally get quiet and listen, his response was “you are doing good.”  That was enough to make the mountain I brought forward disintegrate in my mind.

·       Don’t pass up an opportunity to encourage someone else.
Most of us are walking through challenges or trials in one area or another.  Whether or not I am encouraging the people around me is the quickest and easiest way for me to gauge my own health.  When I am healthy and stable, encouragement comes easy.  But there is an inverse relationship that is even more rewarding.  When I take the time to encourage others and see their long-hard road, mine doesn’t look so bad.  Being more aware of other people’s challenges and struggles allows me to have a better perspective of my own.  So, even when it is not easy and natural for me to encourage others, if I take the time to be intentional and do it, it is encouraging to me.
 
If there is anything I can do to encourage you on your own long-hard road, please let me know.  I will pray with you, cry with you, and hype you up for the wins.  Not just because I love you or know you well, but because I know all of those things are better with someone alongside you.  ‘Let us not grow weary!’
 
 
But they who wait for the Lord
shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31
 
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
 
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28
 
So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.
1 Corinthians 15:58

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Romans 8:28

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9