Absolute.

 My internal dialogue was something like this... “I don’t look like THAAAT.” “That’s not me.” Do you see the articulation?   I wasn’t just expressing disapproval.   I didn’t just say, “I don’t like that picture of me.”   I was so embarrassed by the photos, that I was doing everything I could to discredit them .   I was dismissing concrete evidence.   I was denying reality. Caveat 1: If you’re looking at photos of yourself and your thoughts are something like, “I look ugly.” Then, you’re facing a different battle- that’s not about your weight.   Caveat 2: If you’re looking at photos of yourself and the thoughts are things like, “oh, that’s a bad angle,” or “oh, I had an awkward face”- then it’s possible that you’re just not photogenic. But if you’re saying something to convince yourself that the picture is not an accurate representation of you or your health , then please know, you’re not alone.   I’ve been there.   Also, ple...

  “I’m big-boned.” I used to say this.  I don’t know when or where I learned this phrase, but I know I didn’t use it when I was kid.  I never heard a medical professional describe me as big-boned.  But as I became unhappy with my weight and appearance, this phrase became something that I kept repeating. In truth, I’m not big-boned.  Maybe you are.  But that’s not the point. Our skeletal mass accounts for 12-15% of our total body mass.  Being big-boned adds an extra 5 to 10 pounds.  (that's all) Not only that, but think about it...  Being big-boned shows up in an x-ray, not a traditional photo. You can keep describing yourself as big-boned.  You CAN keep pointing to something that you cannot change and use it to console yourself about your health.  OR you can start focusing on the things that you can control - your diet, your lifestyle, your mental & emotional health. I described myself as big-boned more times...

  If you’ve known me for less than 10 years, you might not know- I used to be fat.   Not subjectively “fat”.   Not fat, relative to how I look now.   I was medically obese.   If you looked at the ideal weight range for my height and multiplied that number times 2, that would give you the highest number that I saw on the scale. I was over 200 pounds and I quit using the scale after that.   Maybe you knew me then, maybe you didn’t.   The truth is, I didn’t know myself. I had no clue that I was fat.   I would have admitted that I had weight to lose, but I was oblivious to the reality that I was extremely unhealthy.   I was on the path to countless medical problems and chronic diseases and I didn’t know it. I had brainwashed myself. I believed lies. I used the people around me to normalize my behaviors and dismiss my convictions about my lifestyle. I started correcting my relationship with food about 10 years ago and am still growi...

 A while back, I read “Trust” by Dr. Henry Cloud.  He writes repeatedly about how humans are hardwired to trust.  We are built to trust others and form relationships.  The book covers a lot of ground but one of the over-arching ideas is that when you spend time with someone, the natural by-product of that time is that you begin to trust them. It does not matter much about the person’s actual conduct or character.   It also does not matter much how they treat you.   If you stick with them, you deepen your trust in them.   The books goes in depth about how this plays out in your daily life (it IS a worthwhile read), but I think we should also be very conscious of the inverse side of this equation… The people who are spending time with you, most likely trust you.  Even if there is no conversation with a trust litmus test or any other form of a DTR (Define The Relationship), they probably trust you and more significantly- your opinions.  Our ...

  “Great is the enemy of good.”   I do in principle believe that statement.   I have seen this play out.   I have come up with this elaborate Olympic high dive routine for something in my life and ended up doing a belly flop instead.   It has happened.   The statement has relevance and application and there are many tasks and areas of life where good is good enough. There have also been times when I have intentionally decided to be good, not great.   My last year of teaching was also the last year that three of my kids were going to be home.   I decided that I didn’t want to sacrifice my last year of major influence on my kids’ lives, for my classroom.   I chose to be a good teacher (not a great one). But still, great is the enemy of good, is not a statement I want to build my life around.   There are many parts of my life that I don’t want to just be “good”.   There are areas, tasks, and roles where I want to be “great”. ...

  As many readers know, my word of the year for 2023 (and 2022 lol) is Discipline.   The month of May brought several milestones for me in my pursuit of discipline, but one stood out above the rest.   It was a perfect month for me in that I prayed and worked out six days a week for the entire month.   In reflection, I am still a little amazed that it happened.   I cannot recall another month, ever in my life, that I have brought this level of consistency.   Adding to the amazement, May was also likely the busiest month I have seen this calendar year (we had two seniors graduating from two different schools).   Some of you are likely very put off by this because it sounds impractical.   But a few of you are wondering, “How did she do it?” “What’s the secret?”   Sorry to disappoint, but there is no secret.   There was no moment at the beginning of the month where I made a proclamation that this would be a perfect month.   There was ...

I am not a super trendy person. I do not do a “word of the year” every year.  I only commit to a word of the year when I feel prompted by God to focus that heavily on one thing.  My word of the year is Discipline.   Those of you who consistently read my blog, may be a little confused.   Yes… That was my word of the year last year for 2022, and it is once again my word of the year for 2023.   I can’t help but laugh when I think about my word of the year being on repeat.   It serves as strong evidence to me of God’s patience, and His sense of humor.   It is also a very tangible reminder to me that God has high standards.   I did grow in discipline in 2022, and yet this is an area where God is clearly telling me to keep striving.   I am not at a place where I am discouraged by this or feel like I am not measuring up.   Instead, it brings me comfort that my high standards for myself and the people around me are an inherited trait.  ...

 Normally, I get an inspiring idea to write a blog post and two to three weeks later, I finally sit down to write it. Today, I am actually writing my blog post in advance of a major milestone. I am slowly but steadily approaching a number that is of great significance to me 155 pounds.  Those of you that followed my weight loss journey from a few years ago are probably taken aback and thinking “man, she really let herself go again.” This would be a well-grounded assumption based on the fact that 155 is still 20 pounds more than my smallest weight while living in Minnesota.  But the few people who actually do life with me down here in Texas can tell you, “let” is not an accurate word.   I have fought hard trying to manage my weight.   I was working out at least four days a week, eating right and STILL gaining weight.   I was (and to an extent still am) fighting disbelief when I would see pictures of myself and wondering why I looked so fat when I knew how ...

 So, the word of the year thing is very trendy and I think I have only jumped on this band wagon once or twice in the past.  I’m not very good at it. Made obvious by the fact that I don’t remember any past words of the year with confidence and that I’m not even solidifying my word of the year until February…nuance.   Anyways, I have received and committed to my word of the year- “DISCIPLINE”.   Some of you that know me well might be a little confused by this (as was I).  I am already a pretty disciplined person. Significantly more disciplined than most, and very comfortable with that.  I have not drank a drop of alcohol in 4 years and haven’t consumed any sweets for about 3 and a half years.  I eat well.  I work out multiple times a week. We have 1 TV in the house, and I barely watch it.  I rarely lose track of time swiping on social media.  Discipline permeates pretty much every area of my life. So when God hit me with this discip...

I have been writing but I have not been posting anything for lots of reasons. To name a few... Life has been CRAZY! See details below. I have barely had time to process things for myself, much less process them to the point of writing and sharing. Yes, as many of you likely suspected, we’ve been going through some struggles. Some things in my life have been so good, I didn’t want to give anyone else the opportunity to sour it with passive-aggressive comments, criticism, etc. We’re walking in God’s faithfulness in the most important area to me and I know He’s not done yet.   I do not know how to celebrate this publicly without making the rest awkward.   Reflecting on Year 32 Since moving to Texas, Matt’s job title has changed twice.   My job has officially stayed the same, but teaching during these “unprecedented times” has me feeling like my job has changed WAY more times than his.   We’ve gone from a part-time marriage (barely seeing each other due to his trav...

Four Weeks, Four Lessons, One Truth Last month, Matt (husband) and I had the privilege of serving as foster parents for two incredible kids.   They brought (more than) their fair share of challenges, but I was consistently inspired by their strength, resiliency, adaptability, and willingness to draw the good out of others.   They were hilarious, entertaining, sometimes easygoing, and often times annoying.   They spent lots of extra time at home and out of school due to holidays and the Polar Vortex.   It was a ton of fun and I’ve heard the same question a few times, “What did you learn?”   I learned SO much, but wanted to use this post to share 4 key takeaways and one big truth. #1 Your level of authority over someone will never exceed the level of trust and respect that person has for you.   I saw this demonstrated in very concrete ways with kids during these four weeks.  These two became more and more compliant as we consistently proved to the...

I have made a lot of lifestyle changes over the past two and a half years.   I am incredibly grateful for all of the support and encouragement I have received from my family and friends as I have developed new physical, spiritual, and dietary disciplines.   I have earned quite the reputation for discipline and follow through.   I made another big change back in January but have not had many conversations about it, because even I was not sure that I would follow through.   I stopped drinking alcohol, indefinitely.   In a lot of ways this has been a long-time coming.   I had already significantly tapered my alcohol consumption in conjunction with Whole30 .   I knew God and my body were both encouraging me give it up altogether, but the idea of doing life completely alcohol-free was intimidating to this True Blood Texan.   So much like Jonah, I continued on in a different direction believing this strong of a commitment was just unnecessary. ...