"That's Not Me" TTTT

 My internal dialogue was something like this...

“I don’t look like THAAAT.”

“That’s not me.”

Do you see the articulation?  I wasn’t just expressing disapproval.  I didn’t just say, “I don’t like that picture of me.”  I was so embarrassed by the photos, that I was doing everything I could to discredit them.  I was dismissing concrete evidence.  I was denying reality.

Caveat 1: If you’re looking at photos of yourself and your thoughts are something like, “I look ugly.” Then, you’re facing a different battle- that’s not about your weight. 

Caveat 2: If you’re looking at photos of yourself and the thoughts are things like, “oh, that’s a bad angle,” or “oh, I had an awkward face”- then it’s possible that you’re just not photogenic.

But if you’re saying something to convince yourself that the picture is not an accurate representation of you or your health, then please know, you’re not alone.  I’ve been there. 

Also, please know- you don’t have to stay there. 

You don’t have to live the rest of your life trying to make sure you’re on the back side of the camera.  You don’t have to be overwhelmed with embarrassment and denial when you look at photos of you and your loved ones making memories.

You CAN change.  You can become someone you are proud of.  You can become someone who does not fear a camera.  You can be excited to be in the frame.

If you’re looking at pictures of yourself and you’re saying, ‘that’s not me,’ the truth that you need to hear is this- it is you, but you’re not the person that you’re supposed to be.  Regardless of the decisions and circumstances that have brought you to this place, you don’t have to stay this way.  You can be a better version of yourself, someone that you recognize again.

 

Bonus quote: “The camera adds 10 pounds is an old saying.  Cameras are way better now, they probably add 20 pounds.”  I left this one out, but I really did say this to myself at one point.  If you’re working this hard to deny reality- again, I’ve been there.  Please know, you can change too. No need for surgery or magic pills.  Food is the best place to start.  Good wholesome food is accessible to everyone (in this country).  It is available.  You can make the change.

 

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to encourage you in your efforts to pursue your health.

Including the original TTTT explanation post here...

If you’ve known me for less than 10 years, you might not know- I used to be fat.  Not subjectively “fat”.  Not fat, relative to how I look now.  I was medically obese.  If you looked at the ideal weight range for my height and multiplied that number times 2, that would give you the highest number that I saw on the scale. I was over 200 pounds and I quit using the scale after that. 

Maybe you knew me then, maybe you didn’t.  The truth is, I didn’t know myself.

I had no clue that I was fat. 

I would have admitted that I had weight to lose, but I was oblivious to the reality that I was extremely unhealthy.  I was on the path to countless medical problems and chronic diseases and I didn’t know it.

I had brainwashed myself.

I believed lies.

I used the people around me to normalize my behaviors

and dismiss my convictions about my lifestyle.

I started correcting my relationship with food about 10 years ago and am still growing in this area.  It’s been a LONG road.  I’m grateful for all the ways that God has shown me how to get healthy and has taken me beyond just my diet.  Planting seeds here and there.  Repeating suggestions from multiple sources.  God has patiently given me my next baby step- again, and again, and again. 

It started with food and then it trickled into every area of my life.  I began to see where I was expecting food, people, hobbies, and even pets to meet needs that they were never intended to meet.  I had modern day idols competing for God’s rightful place.  I started correcting my relationship with food, and then I used the same skill set in the other areas of my life.  

It started with food and then it trickled into every area of my life- just like sin.  

The original act of rebellion occurred when Eve gave in to deception and ate something that was never intended to be consumed as food.  Then, sin trickled into every area of life.  Satan used lies and food to alter the entire trajectory of humanity and our relationship with God.  It was the very first play in his playbook, and it is still working. 

I think it is no coincidence, that in my life, God used the same to play to undo the work of Satan.  God started with food and then He moved on to every area of my life showing me where I was believing lies and using my environment to normalize toxic behaviors.

This series of posts is about replacing lies with truth.  It’s about loosening the grip of deception on the hearts and minds of people who are sitting where I was 10 years ago.  It’s about encouraging others to stop believing lies, seek truth, and take action to become a better version of yourself. 

Every Tuesday, I am going to post one lie that I used to believe and the truth that I wish someone would have told me.  The lie and the truth will be on Facebook.  I will include a link to a short blog post with more about my personal experience, and encouragement for yours.  The TTTT lies will be about diet and lifestyle, because for me and Eve, that’s where it all started.