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What 11 Months and 60 Pounds Have Taught Me

You may have guessed from the title- It has been 11 months since I started my first round of Whole30 and during these months I have lost a total of 61 pounds!  With every pound I learn more and more about my relationship with food.  I’ve been blown away as my body has begun to crave new things.  Spaghetti squash and cauliflower rice have taught me how much texture contributes to my eating experience.  I’ve been disappointed by foods that used to have SO much appeal to me.  But battling for pound number 60 brought the most shocking realization of them all: Food is My Drug. 

I don’t know how I missed it for so long.  Even with recognizing all of the emotions that center around my diet.  Even with overcoming a serious caffeine addiction.  And watching my friend publicly share about her ongoing battle with a sugar addiction.  So many signs, but I missed them all.  It took me weeks to lose that likely over-valued pound to take me from 59 to 60, but I’m grateful because they forced me to recognize the situation for what is- Food is My Drug.
Before you go dismissing this post as me being dramatic, think about it.  Think about someone with a drug addiction...


Oblivious to a problem that was completely out of control and now battling almost daily to keep it in check.  Yes, food is my drug and the consequences my health suffered were pretty extreme.  Every time I look at where I am and how far I have come, it strengthens my resolve to NEVER go back. 
I think most people have a “drug” in their life.  It might be a video game and submerging into an alternate reality.  Or looking to social media networks, hinging emotions on followers, double-taps, and likes.  It might be something that even appears healthy like working out.  Or becoming engulfed in a culture surrounding a movie or TV series, making fictional characters a real component of your life and looking to others in the fandom to normalize this.  For some it is a relationship, relying on someone in your life to keep you happy.  “Drugs” can take on many forms, but at their core they are each something we turn to expecting it to fulfill needs it was never intended to fill. For me, that’s what happened with food. 
I was looking for food to make my bad days good and wanting food to enhance every experience and celebration (movies require popcorn, ballgames require cotton candy, celebrations require cupcakes, and so on).  But the reality is movie popcorn is usually stale and always overpriced, cotton candy has made me puke pink in the past, and celebrating is about people and their achievements, not having the best food.  The reality is, I am a Christian and I should be looking to Christ to help me deal with bad days.  I should be content with the privilege of being able to go the movies at all.  And investing in others and pointing everything back to Christ should be my purpose in celebrations.
It was so easy for me to identify unhealthy relationships and dependencies around me, but it took pound number 60 to help me identify my own drug.  Food is my drug, what is yours?  Where do you turn for comfort when things don’t go your way?  What is the one thing you want most at the end of a bad day?  Where do you turn, when you’re ready to just check out?  Is there an area of your life where you have taken a good and healthy thing, but placed unhealthy expectations on it?  No matter what your drug is, God’s love and saving grace can help you bring it back to a healthy state.  If you’re like me, if food is your drug, I’d highly recommend Whole30 to help transform your relationship with food.
April 2016 and April 2017

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  1. HisRefreshingJoyApril 18, 2017 at 9:12 PM

    I am SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU!!!! You are inspiring and a joy to those around you and with this journey your inner TENACITY is thriving in even more ways. Stand tall and strong friend! You are a conqueror.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LauraApril 19, 2017 at 10:16 AM

      Thank You! Encouragement is always welcomed :-)

      Delete

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